No Right or Wrong

“You’re Wrong.”

If you’re like most people, you have a negative reaction to those words, or ones that say the same thing. Not necessarily because you believe you are right, but because being wrong implies that you are a bad person.

Good people are right, bad people are … wrong.

And you believe you are a good person.

You immediately see the other person as wrong, and may end up arguing over who is right or wrong and become angry with the other person for saying you were wrong, even if you were.

The truth is that there is there is no absolute right or wrong that applies to everyone. Right and wrong are situational and vary based on your beliefs and the circumstances. What you may consider unthinkable – shooting someone for example, may feel very different if it is the only way to keep them from hurting your child, or blowing up a building full of people.

And, something you believe is right – donating to a charity that helps neglected and abused animals - may not seem the same if the founder of the charity is stealing donations to support a drug habit or lavish lifestyle.

You can significantly improve your interactions with other people if you understand that how you say things affects how they hear them.

Let go of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.

Let go of ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

Acknowledge that the other person believes they are both right, and a good person, and let them know you have a different perception. Discuss their perception as if it was as valuable as yours – to them it is.

“I don’t see it that way,” is very different than, “You’re wrong,” and can lead to a discussion about what you see and how the situation can be resolved so that everyone feels satisfied.

The right answer in a situation is one that both sides can agree on, even if it is different from what each person believes to be right.

Look for ways to understand and reach agreement with other people, and you can both end up being good people.